ST PATRICK'S DAY JOKES
Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A: He took a short cut!
Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
A: Short ribs!
Q: Where can you always find gold?
A: In the dictionary!
Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
A: Sure, they're great at shorthand!
Q: What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!
Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they’re always wearing green!
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant
Q: What do you call a diseased criminal?
A: A leper-con!
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A Sham-rock!
Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they're very short-tempered!
Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
A: They need all the luck they can get!
Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: Because he couldn’t afford the airfare!
Q: What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?
A: A jig mistake!
Q: What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck!
Q: What is a nuahcerpel?
A: Leprechaun spelled backwards!
Q: What do you call a leprechaun who goes to jail?
A: A lepre-con!
Q: What position does a leprechaun play on a baseball team?
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they ‘re always a little short!
Q: What does Ireland have a lot of?
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
A: Her red ones were in the wash!
Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy O'Furniture
Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A: He gets wet!
Q: Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of them?
A: Yes, but only a little!
Q: Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover?
A: Because you shouldn’t press your luck!
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
A: When he is a french fry!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame!
Q: Why did the leprechaun cross the rainbow?
A: To get to the pot of gold!
Q:Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because real rocks are too heavy!
Q: What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A: A Shamrock Shake.
Q: What happens when you find a horseshoe?
A: Some horse is barefoot!
Q: What did the Irish ghost say to the other Irish ghost?
A: Top O’ the moaning to you!
Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A: They like to "go" first class!
Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A: St. O'Claus!
Q: What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A: Some poor horse is going barefoot!
Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A: To keep from falling in the stew!
Q: What job does a leprechaun have at a restaurant?
A: A short-order cook!
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Warren anything green today?