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ST PATRICK'S DAY JOKES

ST PATRICK'S DAY JOKES


Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A: He took a short cut!

Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
A: Short ribs! 

Q: Where can you always find gold?
A: In the dictionary!
Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
A: Sure, they're great at shorthand! 

Q: What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow!

Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because they’re always wearing green!
Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant
Q: What do you call a diseased criminal?
A: A leper-con! 

Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A: A Sham-rock!
Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they're very short-tempered! 
Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers?
A: They need all the luck they can get! 

Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: Because he couldn’t afford the airfare!

Q: What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?
A: A jig mistake!

Q: What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?
A: A rash of good luck!

Q: What is a nuahcerpel?
A: Leprechaun spelled backwards!

Q: What do you call a leprechaun who goes to jail?
A: A lepre-con!

Q: What position does a leprechaun play on a baseball team?
A: Shortstop!

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they ‘re always a little short!

Q: What does Ireland have a lot of?
A: Irishmen!
Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers?
A: Her red ones were in the wash! 

Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
A: Paddy O'Furniture

Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A: He gets wet!

Q: Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of them?
A: Yes, but only a little!

Q: Why would you never iron a four-leaf clover?
A: Because you shouldn’t press your luck!

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!
Q: When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?
A: When he is a french fry!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame! 

Q: Why did the leprechaun cross the rainbow?
A: To get to the pot of gold!

Q:Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Because real rocks are too heavy!

Q: What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A: A Shamrock Shake.

Q: What happens when you find a horseshoe?
A: Some horse is barefoot!

Q: What did the Irish ghost say to the other Irish ghost?
A: Top O’ the moaning to you!

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! 

Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A: They like to "go" first class!  

Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A: St. O'Claus! 

Q: What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A: Some poor horse is going barefoot! 

Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A: To keep from falling in the stew! 
Q: What job does a leprechaun have at a restaurant?
A:  A short-order cook!
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Warren
Warren who
Warren anything green today?


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